The Problem With Birthdays

Ok. It's my birthday tomorrow (the 23rd of April) and I know it's stupid, but I'm not a big fan of birthdays. It's not that I won't go to a party or anything- I don't mind other people's- it's just mine I don't really care for.

Some adults don't really like birthdays because they're older or whatever, and people think that's the case with me, but really it's not. 

I have a severe in confidence, and I hate anything that's all about me- hence why a day that my family and friends dedicate to me is a terrible situation.

When I was younger I loved it! All the presents, and friends and family gathered around (and the sweets of course), but over the last few years I've just fallen out of love with all the celebrations- and it kinda sucks.

I mean there's nothing I can really do about it- apart from force a smile and hide an embarrassed blush of course- but I just feel bad for putting people through such effort for me. I appreciate every effort, but I just feel too awkward to enjoy it y'know? 

I'm a bit of a social casualty :P

Anyway, kind of dreading my birthday tomorrow (technically in an hour, haha). Sorry for posting such an awfully personal post but I'm planning a birthday haul in a few days :D

Love you lots,

Elle :)

The Root Of My Anxiety

Hey guys! Remember back in 2013 (wow, I know!) I did a post on one of my first ever panic attacks? Well, I've had quite a lot more since then, and I think I have become more... educated in the subject.  But anyway, I have found an amazing way to deal with my not-so-good moments of anxiety.

Have you read Zoella's book Girl Online? You should ♥. In the book, Penny- the main character, is told to picture her anxiety. Give it a colour, imagine it. This technique has helped me a lot. Penny's anexity is in her throat, gripping and strangling her, whereas mine is in my chest, restricting me and making me hyperventilate even worse. Enough about Girl Online- I'll do a full review of that some other time :)

I had another panic attack last week- climing a mountain of all places! I tried to imagine my anxiety in my chest, but under the circumstances I just couldn't. It got so bad my mum had to stop and turn around with me, as I wasn't getting any air into my lungs properly. It was terrifying! It hit me a few hours later. Nearly every time I have a panic attack, there is something happening to do with heights. Whether it climbing mountains, sand-dunes, aeroplanes or even other petty things.

Now that I've found the root of my anxiety, I feel that it's going to be a lot easier to handle them, as I can be a little more prepared than I would have been before.

Lots of love,

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My 2015-2016 Project :)

I've made a decision. I love animals, and have two dogs and a couple of fish myself. I've always been 100% against animal testing, but I've never really done anything about it other than say 'Oh doesn't animal testing suck?'. I want to do more. Much more.

I was watching one of Emma Blackery's videos (on her second channel), and she said that she was going to try to only use products made by companies that don't test on animals. I thought it was a great idea!

I received a lot of makeup for Christmas this year, so I'm going to use it all up, but when a product is nearly finished, I am going to start looking for a cruelty-free alternative. I'm aiming to only be using products that are not tested on animals by the end of 2016.

Anyone want to do my project with me?

What's your opinion on animal testing?

Lots of love,

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Disco Pants

As you may know, I got my first pair of disco pants in March from New Look. I got a plain black pair and I loved them to bits. Even though I'm a uk size 8 (us 4, eu 36), I bought them in a uk size 10, as it was the last size in the shop and I really, reallywanted them. Buying my beloved disco pants a size too big was a stupid idea, looking back on it! €30 down the drain, really. I wore them for about two months before I came to the conclusion that it was plain stupid to wear them as they were so big and also they were extremely annoying to wear as I was constantly pulling them up.

This Christmas I got proper black American Apparel disco pants. It was a bit risky buying them blind without trying them on (the nearest AA shop is nearly 4 hours away!), but I talked to the 'Pants Expert' on the American Apparel website and she assured me I was a size small, size uk 8-10.

When I got them I was amazed at how comfy and warm they were compared to the poorer quality and cheaper New Look pair I had previously. The disco pants are also super high waisted, which I find really flattering.

For semi-formal occasions I like to wear my disco pants with a Peter-Pan collar blouse tucked into them and some sparkly jewellery. I also wear them with tshirts, jumpers and trainers for everyday wear :). Overall I really love my disco pants and I'd seriously recommend them!

What do you think about disco pants?

Lots of love,

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New Year, New Me

I know the title of this post is a huge cliché, but it's true. It is a new year, and I really need a new me. As you all know, the second half of 2014 wasn't very good for me. 2015 will be better, I promise. 

This year my resolutions are:

1. Don't eat so much junk food

2. Get fitter

3. Blog more

4. Do well in school

5. Be happy

I used to have pages and pages of New Years resolutions, but I'd only ever work on one or two. I thought that if I have fewer resolutions, I'll have more chance of seeing them through :)

What are your New Years resolutions? 

Lots of love,

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I'm Back - Again :)

I guess I owe you guys a big apology. I haven't blogged in forever. I'm also really, really sorry about moving over to Wordpress for a while; and now coming back and changing everything again. I've been going through some weird stuff recently but I'm feeling much better now (read here). I'm about to email Bloglovin' to get my followers switched back to this domain, so there shouldn't be any more... kerfuffle :) This time I'm back- really back, and here to stay for the foreseeable future. I've also been lucky enough to get a new laptop for Christmas, so it'll be much easier for me to blog for you guys! Anyway, I'm back :)

Lots of love,

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School Stories #1 | The Time I Climbed Out A School Window :P

Way back in first class, when I was eight or nine, I really needed to go to the bathroom. The toilets in that classroom were a room straight off the classroom with two stalls an two sinks. Anyway, this one day I went into one of the stalls and locked the door. After I had finished in the toilet, I tried to unlock the door, but the lock came straight off in my hand :P I had forgotten that the stalls lock was broken! After about ten minutes of violently shaking the door I saw that the window was opened a crack. The window was about 6 foot high- it was a super high window- so I climbed up on the toilet and hoisted myself onto the window sill. It took a lot of maneuvering, but I managed to squeeze through the crack in the window and sit on the windowsill on the other side. It was a big jump from the sill to the grass, but somehow I made it :) I walked around the school looking for a door to get back in, but since it wasn't lunchtime no doors were open. I walked back to the window into our classroom and watched my teacher fretting, obviously thinking I had run away. I gathered some little stones to stand on so I could see in though the window properly and knocked loudly. All my classmates turned around laughing, and when my teacher turned around she screamed :) My teacher got the secretary to let me back in. I didn't get into any trouble, as I explained the situation. Anyway, that's the story about the time I climbed out through a school window :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE <3 ILYSM xxx

Here's the thing. I'm really sorry to say this, but I won't be blogging too much for a while. I'm going though some deep shizz at the moment. But I promise I won't just leave, there will be occasional posts. Please stick around and check back for my next post. I love all you guys ♥ ♥ ♥

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Things Are Looking Up

2013 was not a great year for me. I was offered so many opportunities, but I didn't get accepted into any of them. My New Years resolution was to be optimistic, and stop being so negative about everything. I think it's been working :) 

2013 started of pretty well for me. My cousin had a baby on Christmas Eve, and I saw her for the first time in February 2013. From April things started going a bit downhill. I started getting more tests and more work in school, and I started getting a small bit stressed. I began to do worse in those tests, and as the month went on, my average was down from 96% to 85% (Still an A but you can see the difference). The next few months didn't get any better. I was still worrying and I started having panic attacks, but worse still i didn't know what they were until December. I had an un-eventful summer and everything seemed okay. In September my scores were getting as high as 92%, but still a bit off where I was at that time in 2012. This is when I auditioned for a pantomime. It sounds silly but I've always fancied a career in the performing arts, and I had a great time at the audition. I didn't get in. That was a huge disappointment, and it really damaged my self-esteem and my hopes of being an actress. Then in November I applied for something else (to do with music) and I didn't get accepted. I had no confidence left by then, and I decided that I'd never make it as a singer or an actress, and I gave up for a while. I started my blog in late December to give myself something to do and something to wake up and be happy about. This has worked and I can't believe all that I've accomplished in 2014 so far :)

I have gained over 400 followers in the space of a few months, and I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for every single one of you. I have been getting better marks in school (I'm now back to a good 96%), and I've just been having a better year altogether.

This was probably the most boring blog post I've ever written, but I just wanted to let you know that because of this blog, because of every single follower, my life has changed for the better.

I know there's been a severe lack of posts recently, but I'm working on a top secret super exciting project :)

Thanks for reading!

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Happy Chinese New Year!!!

As you pitiably know, today is Chinese New Years Eve!!! If you're wondering why I'm so happy about this, well, for the last few years my family have been celebrating Chinese New Year because (A) My sister is obsessed with everything Chinese (B) This year Tesco have sold loads of Chinese things, and (C) The food's pretty awesome, so why not?

Some pictures!!!

My Chinese Napkins

My Chinese Lantern

Prawn Crackers

Fortune Cookies!

I'm almost ready to eat my aromatic duck -my favourite!-, so I'll tell you what fortune I got later.

Elle xox

P.S. I just published this five minutes ago, but it's just started snowing!!!

Happy Chinese New Year, and Happy First Snow Of 2014!!!

Being That Ginger In The Room

I have strawberry blonde hair, and, like most people with red hair, I was teased through school. There is no real reason for people with red hair to be picked on, it just seems that society likes to torment anyone who's different. That needs to change. All of the ginger hate through my life made me feel quite depressed, but in my situation, everything worked out just fine.

Irish people tend to be very nice (not to boast XD) though children can still, like a lot of children, be... Ugh, you know...

Primary school was the worst (First 8 years of school from age 4/5 to 12/13). Most kids would look at me or say 'why do you have such wierd hair?'. It happens to many people, as 10% of Irish people have red hair. I wasn't utterly uncool (poor me), and I wasn't bullied by my more popular classmates, it was usually the rejects (Sorry!) that just wanted to annoy someone to make them feel better about themselves.

Secondary school got better (Next 6 years of school from age 12/13 to age 18/19- before uni/college), as almost everyone had grown out of their childishness- if that's a word :P- and had become more understanding, and realized that you can't help what you're born with and it's not your fault.

I've grown to accept my flaming red hair, and I have even started to receive compliments about my hair colour.

Elle xox

Hypochondriacs & Panic Attacks

Today I had a panic attack. Not good. I've always been a very anxious person, and I'm a hypochondriac, so it's hard to get people to believe me when I have a cold, let alone a mental illness of sorts. I know everybody hates talking about things like that but 1 in 4 people have a mental illness, and I just happen to be one of them.

If you're reading this and you want to know about anxiety or panic attacks then I suggest you read Zoella's post about it at www.Zoella.co.uk because I've only had two. I actually don't know much :P

Also this is a second edition of this post so if you've read this before and wonder why it's changed so much it's because the first was too personal and I kind of over-shared in it. Anyway.

It was horrible! I was walking the sand-dunes yesterday with my family and at a very narrow part, I started hyperventilating and I had cold sweats and, ugh, I felt so sick! I never want to have one again, even though I was okay- though a bit shocked and shaken- after about 10 minutes. I have a feeling it was triggered by my fear of heights and claustrophobia... It was crowded.

Thanks for reading my tale of woes... Bye!